caffeine_fairy

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 10:13:51 GMT

Sitting with a box in front of me containing 10 clocks. Need sarcastic response for colleague's comments. Help me Internet, you are my only hope...

NB Yes, dear colleague. Those are _centimetres_...

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Just when you think the situation can get no worse, along comes the Daily Mail.

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 07:50:40 GMT

Just what the situation needs! Gangs of penniless thugs roaming the streets with nowhere to go and no way of feeding themselves except by looting and mugging!

Thank heavens that's sorted out then.

*headdesk*

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Tue, 09 Aug 2011 21:33:13 GMT

Protip - if you have to preface your remarks with "I'm not a racist, but...", you relly need to stop talking around the "I"...

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Tue, 09 Aug 2011 08:35:02 GMT

I was very proud of myself this morning. I sit on the toilet lid and hold J in my lap to clean his teeth etc, meaning the handtowel hangs down by my right leg. As I was washing J's face, a GIGANTIC F*CKING SPIDER ran up the towel. It looked like a BDSM apricot (copyright Nik). I shot backwards prepared to do my normal hyperventilating screeching thing so that G would come and be manly at it, and then I remembered the little guy clutching my arm. You know, the one I was about to infect with arachnophobia.

So I took a deep breath, and managed in a relative cheerful if slightly strangled voice, "Oh, a spider! Cool! That made Mummy jump, did it make you jump?"

Thankfully, my local God In Human Form heard my veiled plea for help and came to remove it, whilst I sat on the bed with J and talked about spiders and how cool they are. G brought it over (firmly grasped under a glass), and we talked about the structure of the legs and those horrific little nodules they have on their heads. Then G put it out of the window, and took J off to the bathroom so I could scream a bit in private.

G, incidentally, got a sticker for being a good boy and going in the toilet. I feel slightly aggrieved that I didn't get one for not fleeing the sceen at slightly more than the speed of sound.

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Sat, 06 Aug 2011 21:37:13 GMT

Wonderful, wonderful day.

We were originally due to have G's parents down for the day, but due to Bad Planning they were elsewhere, leaving us at a dangerously loose end. We elected to clean the patio, a wet, dirty and rather slug infested job. If that doesn't sound like a hell of a laugh, well, you haven't got a 2 year old and a jet wash. Also had a tickle-and-sticker fight, the grisly aftermath of which I'd post in picture form if any of us had been wearing more than underwear.

We finished the day off with a barbeque and J tucking me up in bed until we realised we'd got that the wrong way round. G and I then chilled on the shiny clean patio (under the umberella, as it was raining in five second bursts) and are now watching "Airplane!" and contemplating an early night.

Bliss.

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Fri, 05 Aug 2011 12:42:58 GMT

Have just donned my glasses for the first time.

Good Lord. Things have _edges_...

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Is dead from cute

Thu, 04 Aug 2011 18:59:40 GMT

Bathtimes round here often devolve into seeing how much cold water I can splash on G, who bathes with J most nights. This evening, J watched the shenanigans with a big grin before announcing "Silly sausages!".

I couldn't summon the wherewithal to take advantage and use the big bucket, to my shame...

In other news, this evening I ran Health and Safety training with my boss-aprroved "Don't be a f*cking idiot" slide. I love my job.

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SQUEE!

Thu, 04 Aug 2011 08:41:22 GMT

I am delighted to announce the arrival of a bouncy baby iPhone, for which I am SQUEE.

Suggestions for good apps, anyone?

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Extra pudding for these people.

Wed, 03 Aug 2011 14:31:51 GMT

And two helpings of custard

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Disgustingly happy post.

Wed, 03 Aug 2011 10:43:55 GMT

( Read more... )

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Is this thing on?

Thu, 28 Jul 2011 22:37:47 GMT

taptaptap

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Fri, 03 Sep 2010 07:53:40 GMT

*tap*tap*

Is this thing on?

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